Friday night I went to bed at 5 am. Saturday night my cab dropped me at my door at 8 am. Right now, my body is good to go even though I was awake at noon. So, after an hour of tossing and turning and attempting every position possible (insert 'That's what she said' comment) I decided to give the people what they want. The final post in what will go down in history as medium style's The Bachelorette blog post trilogy.
It all comes down to one night. Will he propose? Will she accept?
After too many dates to too many New American Brooklyn restaurants and a lack of hot tub scenes, I've narrowed it down to two. Volvo guy and Whiskey guy. Here's the lowdown.
Volvo guy - he owns a car, reason enough to keep him.
Whiskey guy - Whiskey guy and I fell in love when I learned of his super coffee recipe. As you might have expected, there's a little whiskey in it. He wears really well loved black jeans and eats meat. We both have daydreamed about going to Nova Scotia since we were 8 and learned it existed. He makes money by making stuff and contributing to various media outlets with his vast knowledge of beverages. He makes me really nervous in a really good way which results in a lot of bad small talk, mostly by me.
It's the night I've been waiting for. I stand on a Brooklyn rooftop, better, a Queens rooftop near the airport. Throughout the evening planes fly yards above our heads. Volvo guy climbs up the ladder that leads to the expansive Queens rooftop. He sees me in the obvious Greenpoint girl gear, vintage floral dress, boots, and crazy hair blowing in the wind.
Before he has an opportunity to get down on one knee, I ask him for his keys to the Volvo. He passes them off and I say, cool, see ya. Limo interview goes down. He's sad and I've just swindled his car from him.
Whiskey guy pops up from the ladder and walks towards me. I smile from ear to ear because that's what girls do and say, "I choo choo choose you!"
At which point he says, "Amazing! Is this like Joe Millionaire? Can I trade you in for cash?"
To which I respond, "No. This isn't FOX, it's medium style and I didn't want you to propose anyways, I just wanted someone to make coffee in the morning."
"Oh, so you just want me for my vast knowledge of beverages?"
At the same exact moment, a plane flies nearly 20 feet above our heads. I don't hear a single word out of his mouth.
"What?!"
"OH, SO YOU JUST WANT ME FOR MY VAST KNOWLEDGE OF BEVERAGES?!"
"Maybe I do! So what?"
Before we decide to move in together after knowing one another for approximately 2 weeks. Stereo guy returns and drops this 4' high steel stereo speaker on Volvo guys toes on the street below. He thought I chose him. Lucky for whiskey guy.
"Whiskey guy, what's your name anyways?"
"Otto."
"I like an Otto. Word. Let's be friends"
"Ok. So we don't have to get married or anything?"
"As long as you don't need a green card or something."
"No, I'm cool."
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