What's public and what's private?

It can be quite difficult to decide what is appropriate to be shared and when it is appropriate to share it. Maybe my focus is already changing to random thought. Today, I thought, what if I'm completely overweight, but have no idea? What if people really look at me like, hmm, she shouldn't be eating that baklava from Tutt Cafe in Brooklyn Heights (which is usually amazing except for on the rare occasion that the gentleman that usually makes it is away, which I suspect he was two weeks ago). So, I really thought, man, what if I am? How much room am I taking up in this chair? More than I should, I suspect. I mean, I wear the skinny jeans, but I fill those bitches out, especially in the hips. But, then it occurred to me. My sister recently purchased me a pair of jeans (of which I still owe her some cash) that are the exact same jeans I stole from my roommate. Same exact style, wash, and, most importantly, size. When this occurred to me, I felt relieved. She's like,  in good shape and super beautiful. Note, these words 'super beautiful' are not mine, but the words of several men whom have met her. I mean, just 'cause we wear the same jeans (see photo) doesn't mean I look super beauitful in them, but I certainly try, rather I go for that seventies mom look. Sometimes good, sometimes horribly awful, just like this blog.

By the way, should you like the jeans, they are by Earnest Sewn, the Whiley. 

Now I know what to write about.

I don't know why it didn't come to me sooner. Alright, yes I do. The answer was under my nose, and I have a strong tendency to avoid easy answers, even if they are indeed the best answers. I'm 24 years old and a little, well, I'm me (see outdated photo). I've cleaned Motel 8 hotel rooms, lived in a small 'sustainable' community on the top of a plateau in Washington, been to Fashion School, experienced Manhattan and Brooklyn, been to Europe, lived with roommates, quit my job without a replacement, partied well into the morning and driven across the country, rather, half way across, rather half way around or is it a quarter? Needless to say, I've done some stuff, but I have a lot more to do and I'm still figuring out what fits and what doesn't. So, this is my focus. This is what I have to say. Maybe you're figuring out where you fit, maybe you already know, maybe this will just be a bit of amusement in between writing reports at the office, we'll see. I'll keep you posted on what I'm doing, why, and where I hope to go. Medium Style will be a bit of self affirmation for me, and maybe a little inspiration for you.

*note: I almost never edit these posts, just in case they ever seem scrambled or confusing, its simply because this is the process I have chosen to use for this blog. No editing, almost, ever.

getting organized.

first things first. i'm going to start cleaning this blog up. goal #1: start using caps and proper punctuation. goal #2. always use the same font. i've decided on the Trebuchet font. Here I will start with proper punctuation.

routine project

bitches. last winter i did a little project about my life. i was trying to figure out what the heck i did with all of my time. so, i wrote, more or less, everything i did (see sample of notes above). after i wrote one month's worth of notes, i started documenting the following month with digital photos. i took a lot of photos and when i felt i had enough, i printed them and sorted through the good and bad. as i did this, i put them in order. quickly, i began to identify how much time and energy i spent at work.  i put the small photos up in my room and realized i didn't like putting these work images in. by excluding the images of my workplace, i was creating a visualization of how i wanted my life to be. 

i put up the images of me waking up, preparing for my day and leaving the apartment. then i left a huge white space and about a foot below these photos i put the photos from the end of my day. in time, a map ended up in the middle space where the work photos belonged. then wedding invitations and a drawing of my tomato plant. now, instead of reminding me how things are/were, it inspires me to not get caught up in routines.  so serious today. when i feel this project is a bit more complete (or when i'm more complete) maybe i'll post an image. 

ah ha.

If anyone is reading this, I have to warn you, sometimes, and this is a real once in awhile sort of deal, well, sometimes, I go soft. I start writing about feelings and all this stuff. You've been warned.

Every time someone walks out of your life (see road of life, left), it makes you wonder why they were in it at all. At least, I wonder. Some people are around for years, impacting your daily routine and weekly schedule. These are the people you drink your coffee with in the morning and spend Saturday night with, vacation in the mountains with and phone at 4 am for no good reason. These people are so involved in your life that your lives can even become intertwined and it can be emotionally complicated to untangle the beautiful mess you've created, though, in time, like any other knot, someone finds a way. Other times it is a brief encounter of only a few minutes. It is a man you exchanged glances with in the hall, a girl in the bathroom line, or the old man that sold you some bananas at the grocery store. Sometimes, it is these brief encounters that make the biggest impacts, reminding you of these other people that have come and gone. Sometimes, in these quick moments, something happens. In an instant, this other character comes to the front of your mind for reasons you don't understand, I don't understand. I've been having a lot of brief encounters, reminding me of folks that aren't as geographically close as I'd like them to be. Today, these brief encounter people make me a little sad as everyone doesn't live next door anymore.

it's gone from bad to worse.

i'm pretty optimistic, usually. but right now, i'm still figuring out what to say. in the meantime, check out tomato plant.

not the first post.

i haven't exactly sorted out what i have to say yet. a few months ago i had a chat with a friend about how we're (as in me and him and a variety of other people we know in our 20-30 year old age bracket) finally getting the opportunity to say something. the problem is, we really have to be prepared with what to say when the opportunity arises. as for me, like i said, i'm still not sure what to say. what's the point in 'medium style'? maybe inspiration? ok. sure. let's go with inspiration and miscellaneous imagery, etc. alright. here's an image i hope strikes your fancy. it's cocaine cake. no worries, i'm not actually a drug addict, nor was there actual coke involved in the baking or decorating of this cake. however, it was a good laugh for all at a williamsburg birthday party.

this will catch your attention!

i hope that title did catch your attention. this is my new blog and i have the same feeling about this entry as i do about the first page in a notebook. i only write on that first page because it must be done, but i never write anything of any value because the first page is so intimidating that no matter what i write, i know i'll reread it to myself and think, seriously? so, here we are. with my first post, which will be more or less pretty bad. i'm not even going to offer a photo 'cause it just seems like a, like a, you know when you do something and you think there's an easy way to make something good but there isn't? it's a cheap way to pretend that this might be good, when it is clearly not going anywhere . . . at all. really. alright, i'll give it a few rounds and then let people know what's going on. more posts about nothing coming soon or not so soon.